E.R. COOK

It’s been two years (and counting) since I published Planetary Feedlot. Even though I had a pretty good idea where I wanted to go with the sequel at the time, it seems like it’s taken forever to get it on the page. Especially since my debut novel was supposed to be just that, a stand-alone novel. But as I was writing I realized that my story and characters were much more than just one book. It’s kind of funny how that happens. You would think ‘you are the writer, the book goes where you want it to’. That’s what I used to think anyway. But no. As I write my characters, I always ask myself questions. Who are they? Why are they doing this? Should they do this? How would they react? How would they grow? Sometimes the answers surprise me, and I realize that my character is so much more than what I originally envisioned in my mind. Like when I realized that my stand alone story could go so much farther. So, trilogy it was.

But we’ve all heard the saying “Make plans and God laughs.” Since publishing my first novel, it feels like it’s just been chaos. One thing after another driving me away from my laptop. Whether it was ten hour days at my real work where I got so sick of typing I couldn’t stand even doing things that were supposed to be fun, finishing a whole house remodel, or my newest adventure, moving across the country in a down market where your house won’t sell, it felt like I couldn’t win when it came to getting time to finish the continuing adventures of my heroes. You know the saying “if it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any at all?” Yeah. I’ve been feeling that hard for a few years now. Which of course doesn’t help the depression and anxiety.

Okay, pity party over.

Why am I being so raw and honest? Because that’s who I am. I’m not a slick executive. I’m not a polished mouthpiece with a marketing exec or publicity manager. I’m me and I’m real. Like my stories.

I really do put a lot of myself into my characters, I realized. Just as they are stumbling through their adventure trying to figure out what to do with no clue how to do it, I’m stumbling through this writing adventure just trying to do my best. Sometimes I fail, hard. Like when I write a story that just, well, sucks and I have to remind myself that I’m basically a baby at this game. Sometimes I have to be gentle on myself and give myself room, like when everyone’s asking when the story is going to be published and they don’t realize the time and energy that goes into producing a piece. Other times I need a kick in the butt to get over the pity party and get things done.

So, you can imagine my relief when a week or so ago I finally put the finishing period on the first draft of the second novel, Planetary Disruption. They say that it’s the hardest part, just getting the first draft done, and I totally agree. But there is also something to the truth of just get it done! Once it’s done I can go back and rework parts of the story or flesh things out when they feel too rushed. But just getting the words down is 90% of the battle.

This one wasn’t just a battle though, it was a war. Where the first novel flowed, I feel like I had to slog through a never-ending swamp to get this one done. But along the way, I learned so much more about myself as a writer, and learned new ways to refine my craft.

In the first novel, my main setting was either a secret military base or an alien planet. I didn’t really have to deal with a lot of reality beyond just what would be physically possible. If I needed the environment or circumstances to bend to match a new character or arc in the story, I could just pop it in. I might have to do some back writing and rework some things, but for the most part it just flowed.

But the second novel was based on Earth, on physical locations. I had to deal with time and space. I had to deal with known entities. I had to graft a completely fantastical storyline and characters onto things that people know and understand. I grappled with cultural issues, with being respectful while also manipulating things to match my tale, with having to research places and people that I have no first-hand experience with and writing them convincingly. I had to deal with coordinating things happening across the globe. All while spinning in this tale that is so far outside our normal realm of reality. Trying to pull my readers as deeply into the story without having jarring things knock them out again like I did with my first novel. Trying to drive the story and characters forward without falling into the same setup trope that most sequels fall into. While this is a bridge between the two novels, I wanted it to be a piece in its own right. To matter to the greater story arc, not just be ‘how do the heroes get from here to there’.

Because let’s face it. There’s nothing worse than knowing you’re reading or watching a sequel. You go through it because you know it’s a bridge and there will be something that matters. But for the most part, it’s not exciting or thought-provoking. I didn’t want that to be the case with my book.

But now the first draft is done. Right now, I know it sucks. I have storylines that go nowhere, characters that just appear, and some that are only as thick as a piece of paper. But it’s okay, because now I can go back and flesh them out, weave in the loose ends. The best thing? I’m not making things from scratch anymore. I have a framework, a skeleton. I have a direction. I’m not building things out of thin air. It’s almost like having instructions for the book. You just have to put the table together.

To echo so many other authors, that is the key. Just get it done. The rest will flow if you let it.

It’s still hard to get through a first draft, don’t get me wrong. It’s easy to fall into the ‘perfection temptation’. To try to make every chapter, every word, every character and story line perfect from the get go. Maybe some writers can do that, but not me. I constantly have to go and rework chapters I haven’t touched for weeks because ten chapters down the line my character suddenly decided to do something weird, or a story that seemed so good early on just isn’t fleshing out and I need to go a different direction. Maybe that’s something that comes with time and multiple novels under your belt. But I have a feeling that this is just how I work. But I also am a perfectionist. I want everything to be the best it can be. Yet, that’s not conducive to getting things done because you get so bogged down in the little details that it’s easy to get overwhelmed and burnt out. To get writer’s block because you’re trying to force something to go where it won’t.

I had writer’s block on this story for months because I was trying to force it in a certain direction, but that direction didn’t make sense for the ending and where it needed to go. Not only for the physical relocation of my main characters (how do they get there) but also just why. Why would they go there? Are their arcs still growing? Is that out of character? It was super frustrating because the more I tried to force it, the more it wouldn’t go and the more I started hating the story.

There. I said it. I hated the story.

I was frustrated ‘why won’t you go where I want you to’. I was angry ‘just stop arguing with me’. I was depressed because I didn’t know what to do. I felt pressure because everyone kept asking where the book was. I just wanted it to be done. I didn’t want to do anything with it. Maybe I should just stop writing books. I did my first one, that’s really all I wanted. To check it off my bucket list.

But after those thoughts starting running through my head, I took a break. I worked on some short stories. I worked on some art. I focused on other things like the house move and reading about chakras and energy (I’m very interested in past lives and higher consciousness and universal connections). Somewhere in there, a thought came to me on where to take the story so that it made sense. It meant going back and reworking some major storylines. But it made my characters (and me) happier. And voila! A finished draft.

Writing books is like life. Nothing is easy. But if you hang in there and keep fighting, keep digging, sometimes wonderful and amazing things happen. Not only did I finally finish the first draft, but in finishing, found some of my mojo again. I remember why I’m doing this: for my passion, for my soul, for the little girl who dreamed of walking into a bookstore and seeing her name on the shelf.

Now, comes the not so fun part with doing multiple edits, rereading the story over and over again. But now I have energy to get through it, to get it done because I’m finally seeing light at the end of the dark tunnel. I get to send a draft to my readers and editors, to start getting their feedback. I get to finish the cover, putting the final touches and reworking the summary from what I did before. Yeah, I’m kind of weird. I do the cover first and use that to inspire my story, then I rework it after when the story changes. But that’s my process and I love it. I mean, we’re all a little weird right? If I was ‘normal’, I’d have an agent and not be self-publishing. But I like the autonomy to do things my way, even if it’s not the ‘right’ way according to some ‘expert’.

So, when will the book be published? Hopefully, within the next month or two. But I’m not putting a timetable on it yet. Like I said, I’m still in the middle of a move across the country and my life could get upended at any time.

But at least the first draft is done. I’m 90% of the way there. And the rewards are getting sweeter day by day.