E.R. COOK

AKA: Trying to Climb the mountain in Flip flops

When I published my first book (I say it that way because it will not be the last), my boyfriend got all excited. He loved my book, and he was sure everyone else would too. In his brain, we’d be rich in no time. No, he didn’t see it as a quick rich scheme. He just believed in me that much.

I knew better. I was a nobody. There are tons of books self-published everyday. Not to mention the stigma so many people still have against self-publishing. But that’s why I self-published. While I had dreamed ever since I was a little girl about having my book sitting on a shelf in a store, I chose self-publishing just to say “I published a book”. It was a way to strike one more thing off my life list. But his enthusiasm and belief was infectious.

So, when I announced the publishing on social media and I had tons of people telling me “Wow! That’s amazing! I’m purchasing it tonight!”, I got really excited. I started researching comic-cons to go to for in-person sales. I built this blog. I opened social media accounts. All this was buoyed by the people who had purchased and read the book. They loved it too!

But then days turned into weeks turned into months and the truth of the matter started settling in. Only about 1/4 of the people who told me they were purchasing a book did. The comic-cons didn’t have room for a new author. My book wasn’t being seen, even with ads and promotions. And my regular life, job and relationships and responsibilities, started eating into my time. I found out I really hate creating media for Instagram. While I loved the blog, researching took too much time away from what little time I had to write my next book.

It was about six months after publishing that I realized I had reached a crossroads. Did I want to publish to be known (to refine my craft, to bring my stories to others, to get myself in bookstores), or did I just want to “do a thing”. Doing a thing was obviously easier. I just have to write and publish. No one will ever really see my book, but I’ll know they’re there. Getting myself known will be a hard uphill climb over the sharpest, nastiest rocks I probably could find. But the view at the top will be amazing!

Of course I’m choosing the harder road. But with that harder road comes a reality check: I may never make it, it will take a really long time, and I will have a lot of stumbling and falls.

I’ve recently been researching Scotland for background for the next book and they’re talking about climbing Ben Nevis. They talked about how its not necessarily a hard climb (depending on what trail you take), but the weather makes it formidable and dangerous. The weather can turn in a moment, going from comfy to freezing, rain, snow, sleet. But, if you go up with all these things in mind, its an amazing hike.

I live in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, tall, forbidding peaks that often top 14,000 feet. When I moved here from the Midwest, I had no idea how wild and untamed the mountains were, even with all of the human development. Besides the rattlesnakes, cactus, bears, mountain lions and rockfalls, you have extreme temperature swings from the base to the peak. It can be the middle of summer and snowing on the peaks. Storms can come up in a minute. There is fog. There is wind. Not to mention altitude sickness, dehydration and heat exhaustion that can even when its not deadly, can lay you out for a week or more. Even though there’s tons of trails and maps and guides, there are always stories of people dying or needing rescue because they weren’t aware of what they were in for.

Yet I’ve stood on the top of the mountain. The view is amazing. Not only that, but you have the great sense of achievement that you did the work to get there.

So, as I begin wrapping up my second book and start to think of the editing process, I know a lot more of what I’m facing. I’m still an unknown writer with an unknown series that isn’t finished. No one wants to dive into a series that may never be finished (we’ve all felt that pain). I’m also self-published, in a sea of self-published, facing a stigma about the quality of a book that hasn’t been ‘gatekeeped’. I create my own covers, so they don’t look ‘traditional’. But I love that my books are mine, from words to art. Yet that choice means that some people may judge my book on that cover, and choose to walk away.

But its fine. Because they don’t know what they are missing.

I think to be a self-publisher you have to have confidence and love of your writing, because you are walking this harder trail. I love my stories. That’s what started my love of writing. I loved reading others stories. They were my touchstone, my gateway to imagination out of a not so friendly world. They got me through my childhood. They inspired stories in my head. And as I wrote my own stories, I fell in love with my characters. With the places. I could see them in my head, like little movies. And if I can put my stories out there and reach one person, give them that same experience, that is the best moment of my life.

Like my boyfriend. He hates reading, but he’s got an amazing eye for editing. And the second he got done reading my first book he went “Where’s the sequel?” He still asks me all the time how I’m doing, when its going to to be ready. That makes me feel amazing.

When I published my first book, there was a lot of things I didn’t know. I didn’t know about coyprights and ISBN numbers and how hard it was to get your books in bookstores. I didn’t know about creating a LLC to protect you, and pen names and taxes. I didn’t understand a lot of things, and I still don’t. I still read alot of advice columns and writer’s forums and still find myself lost in a sea of advice and ‘this worked for me’ and trying to piece it out to figure out what works for my journey.

But everyday I try, I learn something else. I learn what not to do, and what to do. All I can do is keep a clear head about what I’m facing and keep walking up the hill.

So, if you are thinking about self-publishing, it is a hard road. You are your own agent. You are your own tax expert. You are your own creator, editor, promoter, social media campaign. You are the person responsible for yelling on the phone when things don’t go right. It is your time you’re spending when things aren’t going right. But its also rewarding. I was able to publish without rejection letters, without people that didn’t understand my vision, with my art and my story the way I wanted it to be seen. I was able to accomplish a dream I’d had since the first memories I have as a kid. I was able to do it the way I wanted.

But go into it doing your research. And with a clear head of the dangers and obstacles you’re facing. Because just like climbing the mountain, if you’re prepared for the obstacle you can overcome it, and keep going until you reach the top.